


Teen Titans: A New Witch In Town

by Texeoghea



Category: Klarion (Comics), Teen Titans (Animated Series), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bank Robbery, Canon Rewrite, Character Study, Crime Fighting, Fantasy, IDK How To Tag So Fuck It, Klarion Is A Little Bastard, Slow Burn, Tags Will Be Updated With Fic, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Teekl Has No Gender, Teenage Drama, Various Swears And Bullshitted Magic Spells, teenagers being teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-06-30 05:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19846240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Texeoghea/pseuds/Texeoghea
Summary: Klarion Bleak, witch boy supreme, is assimilated into the Teen Titans team as a way to rehabilitate him. While attempting to bond with his new teammates (or at least trying not to strangle them), the H.I.V.E. Five have new devious plans for Jump City. Can Klarion and the Titans, along with a few other pals, save their city before the forces of darkness destroy it?





	1. I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know I have 4 other unfinished series to finish, but those were going nowhere, and this is gonna be my new magnum opus like PGN was. (Pour one out for PGN...)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klarion gets sort of strong-armed into being a hero. He might as well see what he can fuck up along the way.

It’s not like Klarion really meant to make trouble. He liked doing it, sure, but even he had limits, and tastes for things other than creating chaos. He was just a teenager, after all, and sometimes he even annoyed himself with his penchant for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. One of those times was right now, sprinting down a broken up street away from a flaming orange demon. “This isn’t my fault!” He yelped, diving away from stray flames. “Come on, you know me, uncle Etrigan-” a quick shield protected him from the chunk of concrete launched at him at the nickname- “I’m more of the petty theft and arson type, why would I try to _blow up_ your house? You wouldn’t have any use for me dead!”  
“Definitely the right thing to say to a demon trying to kill you,” Teekl snapped from somewhere to Klarion’s left. “Hey, you gotta give me points for trying,” Klarion huffed, going back to running away once Batman swooped into view. Getting banished to some nightmare dimension was no problem, but he definitely didn’t want to go to jail. He was just here for ice cream! And he had money for it and everything this time! Honestly, if he was supposed to be a good kid, the world should treat him better for trying. This thought was solidified when Batman grabbed him by the back of his shirt and lifted him off the ground. Bastard. His name should be Bat-stard. “Put me down!” Klarion snarled with the rage of every disrespected fifteen year old all over the Earth, kicking his legs pathetically. He lifted his hands to blast the man off of him with some deadly spell, when Teekl meowed and trotted daintily in front of him. “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” they said, sitting down with their tail over their feet. “If you say ‘let’s see where this goes’, you’re disowned,” Klarion deadpanned. “Let’s see where this goes,” Teekl purred with a cat-like grin, completely calling his bluff. 

“Are you done talking to your cat?” Batman asked. “Why is your name Batman?” Klarion asked, attempting to turn and look at him. “That is _such_ a stupid name. If you wanted to strike fear into people’s hearts, you should have done _anything_ other than putting on a fursuit and calling yourself Batman. That’s so stupid, and the fact that you can fight well is your only saving grace,” He rambled on as Batman carried him away, hoping to annoy him into being released (though if that tactic worked, the Riddler would never be caught). He was brought to a small group of superheroes, who were standing around a disoriented Jason Blood. Booster Gold and Martian Manhunter were helping him up when he noticed Klarion being held like a naughty kitten by the Bat. “Klarion,” he said, in his weird dad tone. “I was _not_ involved in this,” Klarion said instantly, but nobody believed him, for good reason. “Are you going to ground him again?” Batman asked, still holding him, and wasn’t his arm getting tired at this point? This dude must have a secret superpower of stupidly good stamina, or something. “I don’t know what to do, nothing sticks,” Jason sighed. Klarion crossed his arms. He was literally between them, he could hear everything they were saying. Teekl began to sharpen their claws on Jason’s pant leg, and the man just bent down to pick them up and stroke them. “Traitor,” Klarion hissed when they began to purr. “I do have one idea,” Batman said. 

That can’t be good.

It was not good at all, in Klarion’s opinion. Apparently, Batman’s idea was the Justice League’s newest attempt to decrease the absurd number of supervillains in the world- their rehabilitation program. There was a special part of it for teen villains, which boiled down to “put them in the youth superhero leagues and hope they do better”. Klarion had enough self respect- maybe too much, but still, enough to know that he did _not_ want to be figuratively slam dunked onto a poster for teenage morale that would be vandalized in every high school. So, naturally, his response was “Hell fucking no!” Jason looked scandalized at his language, which was always hilarious. “Klarion,” he started, but the boy lifted a finger and continued, “I am not going to be put into some little fraternity of goody two shoes children and expected to behave! Remember what happened the last time the baby Justice League tried to go up against me?”

“Are you referring to the time you accidentally made Zatanna’s father get taken as the new host of Doctor Fate, which you actually feel really bad about, but refuse to say it, or the time they helped you get out of that whole thing you had with the Light?” Jason asked dryly. Klarion sputtered, then settled for pointing accusingly at him and hissing, “Fuck you. Don’t agree to this. You will regret it.” Because Jason was the closest adult to him, Jason had to agree or disagree to actions taken on Klarion’s behalf, which was something they both loathed, because Jason did not want to be a father, and Klarion definitely didn’t want one. He’d never needed one in Limbo Town, and he didn’t need some redheaded loser with a demon infestation as a replacement now. “I regret ever meeting you, Klarion, nothing you can do now will change that,” Jason sighed, standing. “If I weren’t cuffed to this table, I would end you!” Klarion screeched. “God, I can’t wait for you to finish puberty, your voice is like nails on a chalkboard,” Jason grumbled as he left. Klarion screeched louder just because he felt like it, only stopping when Teekl clawed into his leg and told him to shut up. “Well, fuck,” he sighed. Now his throat hurt too, damn it. He grumbled a few more swear words to make himself feel better. They wouldn’t dare put him into the baby Justice League after all he’d been through with those guys, half those kids would try to strangle him if they saw him. The most likely solution they would have is the smaller team in that backwater city with the stupid name. He heard that it was led by Robin, though he didn’t know which one, since there were like, five, or something, last time he checked. Teekl hopped up onto the table and stretched out languidly. “So, what are we going to do?” 

“First I’m going to figure out which robin is which, and finally unravel the secrets of the universe, and then I’m gonna blow up their base and run. Last I heard, they disbanded the baby Justice League anyways, something about them all being traumatized. Bet I can traumatize them more.”

“Glad to see your heart’s in the right place.”


	2. Meet Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klarion meets the team, and decides what he wants to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!

“I hate this,” Klarion growled. “Don’t be so dramatic,” Jason chided. “You’re going to have fun.” Klarion had been right- Robin and the fast yellow one had made their own team after their original team had been disbanded- it consisted of them, an orange alien, a magic user Klarion had bumped into before, the one that had martian powers but wasn’t martian? And an actual cyborg. At least some of the other teammates were as colorful as he was, though his blue skin glimmered like a stupid vampire in the sunlight, which he _hated._ He was still in cuffs, which didn’t do their job of suppressing his power, but were super heavy and clunky. At least they weren’t cold iron. That would have just been mean. “How am I going to have fun with other people my age?” Klarion asked. “I hate people my age.”

“You just hate people, Klarion.”

“That’s my point!” As he said this, the doors of the room he and Jason were waiting in beeped and opened, and the Titans walked in. Robin was first, then the fast one- Klarion listened. The door was saying their names. Robin, Kid Flash, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy. “Where’s the martian, the fish and the beefy one?” Klarion asked. “Miss Martian has returned to her home planet, Kaldur to Atlantis, Superboy is shadowing Superman, and Zatanna’s fine, thanks for asking,” Robin responded coldly. So Klarion wasn’t the only one unhappy with this idea, good. Makes his job of ruining it harder, though, he supposed. “So, hi, you already know me,” Klarion drawled. “Let’s get this over with,” he continued, but was interrupted by Kid Flash punching him in the face. Unprepared for this, he hit the ground hard, his curved horns absorbing the impact for his head and consequently hurting his neck. He snarled, eyes flashing, ready to explode the cuffs and murder a bunch of kids, when Robin pulled Kid Flash back by the shoulder and scowled at him. Teekl hissed viciously from Klarion’s side, but Robin bent to help Klarion up. “We don’t like you,” he said. “The feeling is mutual,” Klarion responded. “But we’re going to give you a chance, because the team voted that way. You have one. If you mess it up, I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but everyone here would probably rather beat you up than call the adults first, so consider yourself warned.” Klarion grinned. “I agree to these terms.”

“Uh, should I be worried?” Jason asked, then shook his head. “Actually, I’m just gonna leave. Try not to kill him, kids. Bye.”

“Thank you _so much_ for your vote of confidence, Uncle,” Klarion sighed. He heard one of the teens whisper, “That’s his _uncle_?” and stifled a laugh. Yeah, this would be fun enough. He’d find a way to mess things up enough to enjoy it, anyways, and he’s smart enough to be inventive with his sabotage. “So, you guys got, like, a Titanmobile? Or bikes? Do we get bikes?” Six glowers answered him. Excellent. He missed this feeling. Robin unlocked the cuffs, letting them drop to the floor. “Come on,” he said, clearly unhappy that he couldn’t gag Klarion, and the team followed him back through the doors. Klarion didn’t like following, but Teekl trotted after them, and shot him a “you better play along” look, so he reluctantly went through the doors behind them. 

Whatever weird machinery the doorway contained made a different beep for him than the others, and then viciously electrocuted him. Which was just, frankly, so rude, on top of excruciatingly painful and embarrassing. “What the fuck,” he groaned when the charge let up. “Oh, I forgot about that,” Robin said, sounding like a scientist who left something in an animal’s cage and was more interested in watching the animal than fixing the situation. “You forgot,” Klarion repeated, staring blankly at the ceiling. The others at least had the decency to look concerned. “Aw, crap,” Cyborg said. “We gotta get you put into the database before you can come in, I forgot too. Bats did it for all of us when we joined, but I can probably get it done easy…” he trailed off, doing something Klarion, who was stuck halfway between the rooms, couldn’t see. A few seconds later, the door made the happy beep from earlier. 

“Registered: User: Klarion the Witch Boy, body type: humanoid, file: Teen Titan. Registered: User: Teekl, body type: feline, file: Animal Companion.” Teekl looked at the doors distrustingly. “Can I stand up now?” Klarion whined. The orange girl, Starfire, grabbed his hand and yanked him up with surprising strength. “Come, new friend,” she said, her tone vaguely lilting, reminding him of when he first left Limbo Town and still spoke like a puritan dumbass. Her smile seemed genuine, though. He awkwardly pulled his hand out of her iron grip, shook it out a bit, and followed the others. Teekl ran up his pant leg and jumped up to curl on his shoulders, eyeing the room for more traps.

Turns out, they did actually have a car, which was rude of them not to mention earlier, but it didn’t fit all of them. When Klarion pointed this out, Kid Flash did a peace sign and instantly zoomed out of the garage, Raven lifted her hands, did a weird gesture, then evaporated into shadows. Cyborg got into the driver’s seat, and Robin into the passenger’s side. “Okay, new kid,” he said when Starfire, Beast Boy and Klarion were seated in the back, seatbelts fastened. “Car rules. This is my baby. If you dent her or get her dirty, you clean, buff and polish her. Got it?” Klarion hated cars, and was sure he’d just end up making the mess worse, but he nodded. “He tells that to everybody,” Beast Boy whispered to him with a smile when Cyborg started the engine. “Does he speed?” Klarion asked. “Not more than five miles over the speed limit,” Cyborg chirped. Klarion groaned, and Teekl settled into his lap. He could have sworn he heard Robin snicker before they launched forward, the gravity pressing them all back into their seats.

Gods, Klarion hated cars. At least he didn’t puke this time.

  


In a rare moment of mercy, and out of the inability to walk straight after getting out of the car for a little bit, Klarion did not ruthlessly harass the Titans for the stupid shape of their tower, though he made a mental note to find an excuse to do such a thing later. Kid Flash and Raven were nowhere to be found, which Klarion was somewhat glad about. Kid Flash seemed to (understandably) despise him, and Raven seemed to match his level enough to be a threat if she decided to fight him. “There are plenty of empty bedrooms, so feel free to just pick whichever one you want,” Robin said, not realizing how incredibly ominous that was. “Uh,” Klarion said, staring at how tall the tower was. “Like, is there a floor for those, or… what?”

“No, there’s regular rooms and bedrooms on every floor. They’re for when we get more members, like you, or if we’re sheltering people for a bit and they need somewhere to crash,” Robin explained. “Also, just, like, between you and me? The windows on the middle part of the T aren’t actually windows, they’re solar panels. The only section with rooms is the top. That’s just where the elevator goes.” That made so much more sense, and Klarion was so glad someone finally explained that. It also makes it much easier to blow the thing up if nobody was there. 

“Are we still going to blow it up?” Teekl asked, once Klarion had picked a room and flopped down onto the floor. “Well, we’re gonna do _something_ , that’s for sure,” he sighed. “Why are you on the floor?” Teekl licked their paw elegantly, staring at him from the windowsill. “I’m trying to decide whether to stick with this for a long enough time that I’d need stuff from my actual room, or if I wanna fuck this up quickly…” Teekl jumped down and settled down on his back. “Let’s discuss the pros and cons of both,” they suggested. Klarion sighed. “But that’s _boring,_ ” he whined. Teekl dug their claws into his back. “Pros and cons, great idea!” He yelped.

“I think you could do with a few friends,” Teekl sighed. “Wow,” Klarion interrupted. He was clawed again for his trouble. “And maybe this hero thing will be fun. You get away with much more property damage if you’re doing hero things, y’know. And I know you’ve been feeling like you’re in a rut lately. Doing something different will be good for you. Let’s stick with this for a little bit.” Klarion groaned into the floor. “You wouldn’t let me do anything else if I tried,” he sighed. Teekl purred an affirmative. “Okay, fine. We’ll stay here for one mission. But after that, if I wanna bounce, we bounce, deal?”

“Deal.”


	3. Calling All The Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klarion gets his first mission, and meets three new foes.

They didn’t have to wait long. Jump City never slept, and neither did its unique villains.

“Up and at ‘em, team,” Robin’s voice came over the speakers of the tower. “The H.I.V.E. Five has been spotted at Jump City Central Bank again, robbery in progress. Let’s show these guys why they shouldn’t wake us up at two AM!”

“ _Was he_ asleep?” Klarion grumbled, sitting up in bed. Teekl meowed from their makeshift bed on the windowsill, which consisted of one of Klarion’s pillows and his bedsheet. “Do we have to?” they whined. Klarion kicked his blanket off and stood to get dressed. “You said until our first mission, here it is. Let’s go!” He dressed himself with a snap of his fingers and a bit of magic, then grabbed his cat and sprinted for the elevator.

He arrived in the main room just as the rest of the team did, minus Robin and Kid Flash, who were already there. Raven simply phased through the roof, which was a way cooler entrance than running through the door, but whatever. “What’s up, bossman?” Cyborg asked, stretching. “I already said there was a bank robbery in progress,” Robin said. “Okay, but to be fair, I woke up halfway through your speech, and I didn’t pay attention to the rest of it, because it’s two in the morning,” Cyborg rationalized. “Whatever, let’s go!” Kid Flash cheered, then zoomed out of the room with a crackle of electricity. “Does he ever short circuit whatever room he runs out of?” Klarion wondered. “Sometimes. Come on, we can’t let him get too far ahead, I’ve gotta get more villains than him by the end of the month,” Robin said, running after him. “At least they act like normal teenagers,” Klarion sighed, following the team. This better be worth it.

Klarion had heard of the H.I.V.E. Five, but he’d never met them. The most he knew was that it was usually just three of them that went and did things, so their name never made much sense to him. There was a little green one who was tech-based, a big buff one, and a witch like himself- that was all he knew about them. He figured that if he were to betray the titans, these three would be the first few possibilities for allies, so he might as well get to know them now. It didn’t take long to find them once they arrived at the bank- it seemed the three were just as interested as blowing up the building as they were in taking what the bank actually contained. “Raven, Klarion, go after Jinx,” Robin ordered once they were within sight. “Cyborg, Starfire, on Mammoth. Beast Boy, Kid Flash, you’re with me on Gizmo. Titans, _go_!” And at once, they all leapt forwards. Klarion had a brief thought of “man, this is going to go badly, I’ve never cooperated with any of these people before, and I only know two of them,” and then he was running. The witch member of the Five, Jinx, seemed to have heard them, as she turned with a grin and unleashed a powerful pink blast that ripped through the cement under Klarion’s feet. He barely had the thought to get into the air before there was a hole beneath where he was. Wow, that was cool. He snapped his fingers twice, and his hands burst into flames, the quiet burn a familiar sting on his fingers. “Hey, new kid,” Jinx greeted chattily as she danced away from his fireballs. Her hair glittered in the light of the fire and the glow from the inside of the bank. “I’ve seen you on TV. I thought you were one of us.”

“I’m branching out,” Klarion shrugged, twisting through the air to avoid another pink shockwave. Starfire blasted past him, shooting energy beams at Mammoth from the air. Raven threw her weird void bubbles at Jinx, but she seemed adept at avoiding the attacks, probably due to their numerous other encounters. “You’ll have a better chance, since you haven’t fought her before,” Teekl meowed in his head. “Where the hell have you been?” Klarion asked, changing his fire for a more indirect attack, cracking the stone of the roof Jinx was standing on, making her tumble and fall. He caught her before she hit the ground, snapping his fingers one more time and summoning the cuffs that Robin had taken off him, slapping them onto her wrists before she could counter. “I win,” He smiled. Jinx blinked in surprise, then giggled. Her pink cat eyes looked like they were glowing, and man, he really needed to stop getting distracted, because it was super embarrassing. “You’re good, new guy. And you’re kind of cute, so I feel a little bad about this,” she smirked. Then she kicked him where it hurt.

“ _Are you wearing heels in a fight?_ ” Klarion managed to wheeze from the ground. Jinx snickered. “Maybe,” she grinned, winking at him before waltzing right into the fray of the others. “Mammoth, a little help?” She asked sweetly. Mammoth crushed the cuffs with one hand, then tossed her into the air. She did a little flip past Gizmo, then shot a third shockwave into the ground, using both hands this time, snapping the broken cuffs off in the process. The effect was doubled, and the ground team stumbled to their knees. “Need some help?” Teekl asked. “Yeah,” Klarion whined. A loud roar sounded from behind him, and his cat soared over the team, landing in front of them in the shape of a sabertooth tiger. “Nice kitty,” Mammoth said, then swung a left hook at them. Teekl stepped back, then clawed him good in the side with a snarl. “Bad kitty!” Mammoth yelped. “Get that cat!” Gizmo cried. “You don’t have to tell us twice,” Jinx grumbled, tossing painful sparks in Teekl’s direction. Klarion threw a blue shield in front of his cat in retaliation, and they purred a quick thanks before leaping over it and pouncing onto Gizmo, chomping on his backpack. “No, my _tech!_ How dare you!” he cried, squirming. “Nice one, Teekl,” Robin said, then wrinkled his nose a bit. “Man, never thought I’d say that.”

Within the next two minutes, the Titans had gained an edge over the three, and the police arrived to take them away once more. “You’re good,” Klarion grinned at Jinx as she was led away. “And you’re kinda cute, so I feel bad about beating you.”

“I could kick you in the dick again,” she snapped, and he took a quick step back. “Watch out for her, man, she’s got claws,” Kid Flash said as he passed by, which was actually the first thing that he’d said to Klarion, so it took him by surprise, but KF was gone before Klarion could question him further. “Huh,” he said. “That was weird.” Teekl nodded in agreement, hopping up onto his shoulders. “So, we finished our first mission. How are you feeling?” Klarion watched the police cars speed away, sirens wailing into the early morning darkness, and thought about pink cat eyes and glittery hair. “I think I’ll stay a bit longer.”

Teekl purred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone's got a cruuuuuuuuuush
> 
> I'm not gonna make that a big part of the story, it's still gonna center on Klari, but i thought this might make his dynamics with the other characters a bit more interesting. next chapter we might see some team building exercises!


End file.
